Saul was instructed to wait seven days on Samuel to come to Gilgal, but when his army starts shrinking, he decides half-way through the seventh day that he just cannot wait any longer. 1Samuel13:11-14: “And Samuel said, What hast thou done? And Saul said, Because I saw the the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered themselves together at Michmash; Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the Lord: I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering. And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now thy kingdom shall not continue the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.” Patience does not come easy. It is our natural reaction when we are told no or to wait to try and figure out how to do it on our own. I observed this with my two year old daughter one Sunday. She handed me a lollipop during church and asked me to open it. I told her she would have to wait until later. I would like to say she obediently sat there until I told her it was okay to open the lollipop, but that was not the case. She started pulling on the wrapper as hard as she could because if I wasn't going to do it for her right then, she would find a way to open it herself. Unfortunately for her, this caused her to lose the lollipop all together. This led to a lot of crying, but I had to teach her the importance of obedience and waiting.
God is teaching me a lot about patience through my son who has autism. He struggles with basic daily activities that we completely take for granted. For example, it took us approximately 6 months to teach him to take off his socks and shoes. This was with the help of trained behavioral therapists. The shoes weren’t so bad, but it takes more fine motor skill than you would think to scoop your sock off the back of your heel. He requires things to be broken down and repeated over and over. We are so very thankful for the progress that he has made but it is at a VERY slow pace. I want him better yesterday. I pray for him daily. Before he was born, I was in church praying and I can remember asking God, “Please give me a name for my son.” We had been struggling so hard with picking a name for him. We wanted a family name but could not agree on one. Then we decided to get a baby name book and look at different names and their meanings. We had a few picked out but none that felt quite right. Shortly after my prayer, the name “Samuel” popped into my mind. We had not been studying Samuel at church so I wasn’t sure where it came from. I did not even like the name so I discarded it. Later on that evening, the name came to me again while I was looking through the baby name book. I decided to look up the meaning of Samuel. In the book it had a few meanings but the one that stood out to me was “told by God”. I had to tell my husband right away and get his opinion on what had happened. I had this overwhelming feeling that this name had not been placed in my mind by accident. My husband agreed with me that there was no way we could not name him Samuel. With all that being said, I know that God has His hand on my son’s life. God has used him in so many ways already to make me a better person and mother. I wait to see what God’s plan is for Samuel’s life as patiently as I can. I want Samuel to get better. God’s plan, however, does not always coincide with my own. The only thing worse than being told we have to wait is to be told “No”. It can cause us to unleash the inner two year old temper tantrum and whining, maybe throw in a little bargaining and begging “please!”. To imagine that Samuel may never get better is quite an overwhelming thought. I am sure it was hard for Moses when God told him he could not cross over into the promised land after leading the Israelites out of Egypt and waiting in the desert for 40 years. Moses prays to God in Deuteronomy 3:25: “I pray thee, let me go over, and see the good land that is beyond Jordan, that goodly mountain and Lebanon.” God responds to Moses in Deuteronomy 34:4: “This is the land which I sware unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, saying, I will give it unto thy seed: I have caused thee to see it with thine eyes, but thou shalt not go over thither.” Moses could have turned his back on God and rallied up the Israelites to attempt to lead them over to the promised land by himself, but he didn’t. I have had to come to the realization that God’s plan is the perfect plan. I have to trust in Him even when I do not understand His answer. Isaiah 40:31: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” Going down the path God has made for me with His help and guidance, no matter how tough it gets, will be much easier than attempting to blindly make my own way.
