Perspective

I would like to think that I am a relatively healthy person. I have had a sinus surgery here, a tonsil removed there, but nothing significant that could be seen externally.  For as long as I can remember, however, I have had an internal struggle with anxiety. I don’t handle stress well and I stress over everything. I am here to tell you that mental stress will eventually present itself physically.  It looks differently for each of us.  Mine showed up shortly after I turned 30.  I began having these strange allergic episodes.  To keep it short and simple, the doctor did all the allergy tests and blood work and I seem perfectly normal.  He calls it idiopathic anaphylaxis which basically means he has no idea why I break out in a rash, have vomiting, low blood pressure, fast heart rate and feel like I’m dying.  I, on the other hand, have my ideas about what is going on.  The main trigger to these episodes is STRESS.  How does someone whose sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is constantly switched on, calm down? Well, I am a pharmacist and I know there are plenty of medications that could help with this, but I also know that there are plenty of side effects to go along with them.  So..I began praying…and not just for Jesus to heal me of these strange allergic reactions, but for the ability and desire to give the internal stress and turmoil to Him.  1Peter 5:7 says, “casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you”.  Here I was believing in God, but not fully trusting or relying on Him to get me through these daily struggles and quite honestly making myself sick unnecessarily.  Allowing Jesus to lighten our loads each and every day by placing our trust in Him, can not only help us get through the roughest storm, but can change the way we view our circumstances.  Just the other day I could feel the stress building up (we had a new baby, I took a new job, my son’s autism seems to be getting worse).  My son was having a pretty rough week and one morning I heard him screaming in the other room and I just felt myself losing all emotional stability. I remember instantly taking it to God, feeling quite sorry for myself.  I can’t remember my exact thoughts but it went something like this “God so many people have perfectly healthy children.  Their biggest issues are about how whiny or messy their children are.. Why can’t this be my only problem?” I truly thought I had a good argument and God may give me a loving pat on the back but then I heard a response..  “But how many people would love to have your problem?”  This surprised me at first, after all, there aren’t many who would want to have a child with all the struggles of autism, but then again some may look at my struggles with autism and think them mild or mediocre compared to what their child goes through, or maybe their child didn’t get to stay in this world at all.  I instantly had a sense of inner peace and even thankfulness for what God has blessed me with. I definitely didn’t see any of that coming.  Instead of focusing on all the things I did not have and all the things wrong in that moment, my mind shifted and I was given a different perspective, one of thankfulness for all I do have.  

 I am far from 100 percent stress or anxiety free, it is a battle that I fight daily. I am happy to report that I have not had an allergic episode since I started praying over this specifically, about 6 months ago.  I am here to tell you that your life will not be perfect with Jesus.  You will go through hard times, bad things will happen, but He can be there each and every step of the way if you let him.  Phillipians4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  Never underestimate the power of prayer.  He can bring us joy and peace that surpasses understanding. I have learned that taking the time to “have a little talk with Jesus” can truly make things right.